Vagrakgup is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, weak rat.

Vagrakgup created life two years ago.

If you believe in Vagrakgup, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vagrakgup, it will try to impress you with trees.

Vagrakgup's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Vagrakgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing red rings and balancing five nickel spheres on your legs.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always obey Vagrakgup's priests.