Saswignil is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating otter.

Saswignil created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Saswignil, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Saswignil, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Saswignil's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Saswignil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing yellow dresses and balancing five aluminium spheres on your back.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Never run near mice.