Gepcutbot is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, wise cat.

Gepcutbot created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepcutbot, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gepcutbot, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gepcutbot's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gepcutbot's Holy Commandments

1. Gepcutbot loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

3. Never talk about dark energy near sheep while wearing orange boots.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.