Rullbastsatpag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong wyrm.

Rullbastsatpag created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rullbastsatpag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rullbastsatpag, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rullbastsatpag's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Rullbastsatpag's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near mites while wearing brown jumpers and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Rullbastsatpag first in all things.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.