Nartvidlip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-knowing narwhal.

Nartvidlip created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartvidlip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nartvidlip, she will be very sad.

Nartvidlip's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nartvidlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nartvidlip.