Staftimsad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonest sheep.

Staftimsad created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Staftimsad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Staftimsad, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Staftimsad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Staftimsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never laugh near dogs.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Fast once a month.