Funpigvad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, tranquil bear.

Funpigvad created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Funpigvad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Funpigvad, he will turn you into a plant.

Funpigvad's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Funpigvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.