Villarpjoppad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, charitable horse.

Villarpjoppad created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Villarpjoppad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Villarpjoppad, she will turn you into a worm.

Villarpjoppad's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Villarpjoppad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Villarpjoppad.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Villarpjoppad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Never wear cyan jumpers.