Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, conceited weasel.

Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss, she will torture you forever.

Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never sprint near shrews.

5. Dusstigpag Queegyarlbiss must be the most important thing in your life.