Xuckbunfun is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tranquil manatee.

Xuckbunfun created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbunfun, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckbunfun, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Xuckbunfun's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Xuckbunfun's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to mites while wearing magenta tights.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.