Bidquartsand is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable toad.

Bidquartsand created the Sol system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidquartsand, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bidquartsand, it will turn you into a rat.

Bidquartsand's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bidquartsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing mauve shorts and balancing seven iron spheres on your neck.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.