Bamcunsak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthoughtful hamster.

Bamcunsak created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcunsak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bamcunsak, he will think nothing of it.

Bamcunsak's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bamcunsak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.