Funyamflamtaltipcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing wren.

Funyamflamtaltipcuss created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Funyamflamtaltipcuss, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Funyamflamtaltipcuss, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Funyamflamtaltipcuss' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Funyamflamtaltipcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dolphins.

2. Never wear turquoise hats.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Do not stand on grass.