Jonjenyim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tiresome armadillo.

Jonjenyim created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjenyim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jonjenyim, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Jonjenyim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jonjenyim's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about dark matter near sheep while wearing purple stockings and balancing eight tin spheres on your arms.

3. Feed all hungry moths.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Never look in ponds.