Nurstik is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish chinchilla.

Nurstik created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurstik, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurstik, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nurstik's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nurstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured porpoises.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nurstik.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.