Kikflisbap is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witty guinea pig.

Kikflisbap created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kikflisbap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kikflisbap, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kikflisbap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kikflisbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the east.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.