Shavlignurt is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome crocodile.

Shavlignurt created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavlignurt, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Shavlignurt, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Shavlignurt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Shavlignurt's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Shavlignurt.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.