Tonyimdod is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, overgenerous dolphin.

Tonyimdod created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Tonyimdod, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tonyimdod, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tonyimdod's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tonyimdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near swans while wearing fawn stockings and balancing five lead spheres on your neck.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Always take life seriously.