Camlarpzen is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, competent mink.

Camlarpzen created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Camlarpzen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Camlarpzen, it will be mildly annoyed.

Camlarpzen's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Camlarpzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.