Afabhenpang is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awesome wren.

Afabhenpang created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afabhenpang, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Afabhenpang, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Afabhenpang's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Afabhenpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not eat wheat.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Afabhenpang in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat lemons.