Dunkimjad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, confident dolphin.

Dunkimjad created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dunkimjad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dunkimjad, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dunkimjad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Dunkimjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Dunkimjad loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Dunkimjad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear black kilts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.