Vonfitmap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic dryad.

Vonfitmap created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonfitmap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vonfitmap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Vonfitmap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Vonfitmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

4. Never bounce near nematodes.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.