Pagmitrul is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic scorpion.

Pagmitrul created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagmitrul, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pagmitrul, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Pagmitrul's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Pagmitrul's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pagmitrul.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near snails while wearing cyan kilts and balancing six gold spheres on your back.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.