Ladnulltonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish deer.

Ladnulltonk created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladnulltonk, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladnulltonk, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Ladnulltonk's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Ladnulltonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Never feed pineapples to goats while wearing violet shorts.

5. Do not drink alcohol.