Quaflatstik is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet hydra.

Quaflatstik created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quaflatstik, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quaflatstik, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quaflatstik's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Quaflatstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Hide if five eagles approach from the west.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Never think about amino acids.