Gubtarptal is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking penguin.

Gubtarptal created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubtarptal, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gubtarptal, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gubtarptal's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gubtarptal's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near aardvarks while wearing black boots and balancing nine silver spheres on your neck.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.