Gemcenflam Nutbussin is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful crab.

Gemcenflam Nutbussin created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemcenflam Nutbussin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gemcenflam Nutbussin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gemcenflam Nutbussin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gemcenflam Nutbussin's Holy Commandments

1. Gemcenflam Nutbussin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Worship no other gods but Gemcenflam Nutbussin.

5. Hide from fawn monkeys for they are unholy.