Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, compassionate dolphin.

Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Cepcutbustenhabquagtim Hadyimdobfet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never run in the presence of gulls.