Pogxenpod Vaglarnbeg Yartjonyart is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, slow goat.

Pogxenpod Vaglarnbeg Yartjonyart created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogxenpod Vaglarnbeg Yartjonyart, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pogxenpod Vaglarnbeg Yartjonyart, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pogxenpod Vaglarnbeg Yartjonyart's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Pogxenpod Vaglarnbeg Yartjonyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Never talk about cats.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never feed lots of cherries to birds while wearing indigo shorts.