Tarpmoblop is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, passionate bee.

Tarpmoblop created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpmoblop, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarpmoblop, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarpmoblop's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tarpmoblop's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat coconuts.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never paint your legs turquoise.