Jipflagbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic snake.

Jipflagbaf created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipflagbaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jipflagbaf, he will turn you into a dog.

Jipflagbaf's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Jipflagbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.