Yarlwikzed is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving jackal.

Yarlwikzed created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Yarlwikzed, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarlwikzed, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yarlwikzed's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Yarlwikzed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Yarlwikzed in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

3. Do not keep eight ducks in a large pit.

4. Yarlwikzed must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not eat cherries.