Lambopvad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, omniscient unicorn.

Lambopvad created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lambopvad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lambopvad, it will not invite you to parties.

Lambopvad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Lambopvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near voles.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not hurt sharks.

5. Do not make images of living things.