Tammipfarnfag is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tranquil tapir.

Tammipfarnfag created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tammipfarnfag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tammipfarnfag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tammipfarnfag's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tammipfarnfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tammipfarnfag.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never eat strawberries.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.