Poglogjoptifyimdanfud is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish alligator.

Poglogjoptifyimdanfud created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Poglogjoptifyimdanfud, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Poglogjoptifyimdanfud, he will torture you forever.

Poglogjoptifyimdanfud's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Poglogjoptifyimdanfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Run away if four eagles approach from the west.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.