Ladhudmiltaf is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, benevolent swallow.

Ladhudmiltaf created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladhudmiltaf, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladhudmiltaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Ladhudmiltaf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ladhudmiltaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not keep three rats in a large pit.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.