Kadhonflapquam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking aardvark.

Kadhonflapquam created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadhonflapquam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kadhonflapquam, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kadhonflapquam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Kadhonflapquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Kadhonflapquam loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Put Kadhonflapquam first in all things.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.