Badflamtal Nigtettivig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, competent hare.

Badflamtal Nigtettivig created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badflamtal Nigtettivig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Badflamtal Nigtettivig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Badflamtal Nigtettivig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Badflamtal Nigtettivig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Badflamtal Nigtettivig.

3. Never think about special relativity near mice while wearing cyan boots and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about amino acids.