Jinpoppak is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent dove.

Jinpoppak created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinpoppak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jinpoppak, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jinpoppak's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jinpoppak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. You must love Jinpoppak.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.