Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, sage squirrel.

Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cipkipjan Vogyatnatlip Haknakkikyarlyam.

5. Always treat tortoises with great respect.