Padbafget is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless finch.

Padbafget created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Padbafget, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Padbafget, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Padbafget's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Padbafget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Padbafget in the centre of the settlement.