Jigcemtim is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest hedgehog.

Jigcemtim created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jigcemtim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jigcemtim, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jigcemtim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jigcemtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.