Cemdussing is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet bat.

Cemdussing created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemdussing, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemdussing, she will turn you into a dog.

Cemdussing's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cemdussing's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Retreat if six geese approach from the west.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.