Rutwit is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless goblin.

Rutwit created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutwit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rutwit, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Rutwit's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Rutwit's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never feed lots of bananas to gulls while wearing mauve rings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.