Yarltailtam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional toad.

Yarltailtam created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarltailtam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarltailtam, it will strike you with lightening.

Yarltailtam's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Yarltailtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not cook food in pots.