Bedstragbast is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid centipede.

Bedstragbast created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedstragbast, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bedstragbast, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bedstragbast's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bedstragbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Bedstragbast in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Never feed pineapples to voles while wearing purple trousers.

5. Bedstragbast loves snakes, so they must be honoured.