Fetfudlin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful coyote.

Fetfudlin created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetfudlin, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fetfudlin, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fetfudlin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fetfudlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think ill of sick sharks.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look at planets.