Flagjonhubdib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic crane.

Flagjonhubdib created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flagjonhubdib, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flagjonhubdib, he will turn you into a plant.

Flagjonhubdib's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Flagjonhubdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never wear black stockings.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not shave your legs.