Honyarwot is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, tranquil jaguar.

Honyarwot created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honyarwot, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Honyarwot, he will not invite you to parties.

Honyarwot's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Honyarwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention capybaras.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always treat sharks with great respect.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear skirts.