Flatyimtipvig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered goat.

Flatyimtipvig created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatyimtipvig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flatyimtipvig, it will turn you into a dog.

Flatyimtipvig's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Flatyimtipvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.